Now and Then

The women in both stories, in my own opinion, did not have the freedom to follow what their heart desired but they did choose their own destiny. Tinang was unsure about her feelings towards Amado but right after she read his love letter, it was obvious that she loved him although she didn't have the chance to share it to him. She married a Bagobo thinking that his two hectares of land would give them a "bright tomorrow". Unfortunately, it did not turn out that way. From the author's description, it seemed to me that she was tired and unhappy. I don't think it was the kind of life that she wanted and expected but she seems to be trapped in that situation just like Pilar. Apparently, Pilar was not too fond of Mr.Perfecto and his slight arrogance that's why maybe she wanted other men according to her "ideals" but unfortunately it was only Mr. Perfecto who could understand her and probably take her seriously. And she had no choice but to go with Mr. Perfecto. I think that she would have ended up with him anyway. She was trapped!

I can't imagine myself being trapped in that same circumstance. Thankfully, things are different now. We always have the opportunity to decide on our own. Pilar had a choice but I don't think it was what she longed for. She used his father as an excuse not to be with Mr. Perfecto but i think she'd rather be with someone she's not that attracted to but might learn to love later on than age alone and lonely. I think most women on that phase of life have that fear or uncertainty. I am reminded of my cousin who never had a boyfriend until her early thirties and couldn't wait to get married because the rest of her friends daw were getting married and she didn't want to be the last single standing. Well she's now married and feeding her jobless hubby.

.....moving on.....

According to my lola, she was very young when she married my lolo. He was a Chinese businessman who was 20 years older than her. My lola would show us their pictures and based on that, she was very pretty and he was...ok. I mean he wasn't that good looking but he came from a prominent clan in Amoy ,old China (now a Taiwanese territory) before it became a communist country. Because he was against communism (the government took all their wealth and killed some of his relatives), he escaped to the Philippines in hope of a good life. He then lived and started his business in Cotabato where my lola worked as a cashier. Well my lolo was attracted really bad to my lola while she didn't like him at first because he was a lot older and un nga hindi daw dwapo.
But her relatives were pushing her to accept his courtship because he was rich. And they were married and had 10 children (grabe before couples didn't know about family planning). I shared this because I think women during those times had no control over their lives. I mean they seemed to follow what their family or society dictates them to do. Kahit na mas conservative noon, some women married early just so may security ang future nila. i don't know if I'm right about this but that's what I've noticed lang. Unlike today, women are stronger and confident. We think ahead and we want to have the best job. Not to mention na mas liberated and free-spirited ang women of today. Very career-minded and game sa mga challenges. i think we're equal na nga sa men compared before na sobrang sunud-sunuran lang ang mga babae. Today, men work and women handle the money (at least, women are consulted over money matters and sa house ang mga nanay lahat ang gumagawa ng decision). There shouldn't be gender biases anymore although meron pa din naman but at least, the strength and capabilities of women are recognized na.

In that case, change happened for the better.